Well, I knew there would be some residual flack from my ex wife for taking the kids for some fun times when they were out of school...uh...*cough*...sick. I do believe she is a little more upset than necessary though. She says I am irresponsible because they missed classes (they are still young enough where they are not missing much and I believe that they are not learning a whole heck of a lot in the last few weeks of school. I never did!)
NOW...I tried explaining that I just wanted to have some fun with them and thought it would be a nice distraction that Mommy was not here (this was her first long trip away). She doubts that I even considered the latter, but I did. My daughter is VERY attached to her Mom and with good reason! Those two have been attached at the hip since her birth and my daughter adores her Mom (and I honestly believe that is how it should be...Moms and daughters should be close!) Now, the boys were not as bad, they are always happy to hang with Dad, and my one sons biggest concern was sleeping in a strange bed/room (autistic kids hate change) but he seemed to handle it well. My daughter missed her Mom most at night (they have a little thing they do at night for bedtime) and I expected that, so that is why I tried to make our night activities fun and tried to, well, to be honest, I tried to wear her out so she would fall asleep before even getting to the hotel. This worked every night and it helped immensely.
Well, to make this short (before it gets long) my Ex says that if I can not stick with their routine and schedules (ie school, lessons, etc) then she may have to reconsider letting me have them for extra time. I told her I understand her concerns but I also think she needs to remember that we have joint custody and my decisions for them hold equal weight. I am not sure if that made her mad or she just got tired of arguing because she stopped at that point cold. Now most people would be happy with that, but to be honest, I prefer when my Ex is yelling, because when she gets quiet...that is when I am really in trouble!
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2 comments:
GREAT GODDESS!! SOMEONE CALL TH' COPS! YOU TOOK YOUR KIDS TO DISNEY AND THEY HAD A GREAT TIME-- WITHOUT THEIR MUM!!
Son, can ya say, "jealous that she wasn't there?" wid me? This is the petty bullshit I absolutely hate about divorce and custody. Instead of saying, "wow! they had a great time! They'll remember this forever!" OR (perhaps more honestly) "wow... I wish I could've been there for that" OR "damn, next time you're planning such a big trip, let me know cuz I want to come along and see their faces" she gets pissy and-- like a lot of exes I'e heard of-- tries to threaten you. "oooh, this was inapropriate and if you cant do what *I* tell you to do then I guess I'll have to change custody arrangements..."
Fuck that.
(pardon my language-- I see shadows of me in you) Stick to your guns and maybe just let it drop. Don't grind her face in the fact that YOUR CHILDREN had a wonderful time without her, but don't let her manipulate you into secondguessing yourself.
Besides, I'd like to see the look on the lawyer/judge's face when she asks for a change in custody: "lemmie get this straight, your ex, the father of YOUR children who has joint legal, took your kids to Disney, they had a good time and because of THAT you want to change the visitation arrangements? Uuuuh, why?"
Grrr... this pisses me off, and it ain't even my kids or my relationship!! I just hate it when people try bald-faced manipulation of someone else, especially by putting children in the middle of it, especially especially special needs children.
I feel a blogcake coming on!!
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